“The only cure for a real hangover is death.”

“After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.”

“There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.”

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”

“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.”

“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”

“Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.”