“I unzipped my boots but they wouldn’t budge. My feet had swollen in the heat. After much tugging, a queue had started to form behind us. Eventually I had no choice but to hold onto the rail with my legs in the air whilst Adam pulled. It wasn’t my finest hour.”

“I felt tears coming and for some reason, buried my head in Iain’s chest. It was firm and muscled and he smelt so wonderful.I realised what I was doing and pulled away, but a big string of snot hung between my nose and his shirt pocket.”

“Thursday 1st January 00:15TO: [email protected] from the London Eye are bursting above my head filling the garden with reds, yellows and blues, but I am on my own. I don’t know where Daniel is. He promised he would be home by eleven.Happy New Year x”

“Saturday 18th July 19:02TO: [email protected]. Will see you tomorrow. I am just going home for a bit of anal.Saturday 18th July 19:04TO: [email protected] was the auto correct! Not me! My email was meant to read ‘I am just going home for a bit of a nap!’I am tired, I am not, and I never have…Anyway. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.Coco.”

“There’s like a dude at the door, asking for you?”“Did you let him in?”“No. I said I would check with you.”“Well, did you ask his name?”“Yeah. It’s Mr. Rickard.”“That’s Adam you idiot! Go and let him in!”“But he’s like fit!”“No need to sound so shocked.”“You’re dating him?”“Yes. look, I haven’t got time to go this, and he is standing out on the doorstep.”“Fucking hell Mum, like, way to go.”

“TO: [email protected] god! Oh god! Oh shit! I have just sent the email I was meant to send to you, slagging off Meryl to Meryl by mistake. Damn this email invention.”

“I didn’t think I’d end up divorced with three kids and a bucket fanny, but there you go.”