“To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent.”

“Congress consists of one-third, more or less, scoundrels; two-thirds, more or less, idiots; and three-thirds, more or less, poltroons.”

“Everyone should have two or three hives of bees. Bees are easier to keep than a dog or a cat. They are more interesting than gerbils.”

“To attribute these two great developments to the Central Committee, is to take a very narrow view of civilization. The Central Committee announced the developments, it is true, but they were no more the cause of them than were the kings of the imperialistic period the cause of war.”

“Every scene should be able to answer three questions: "Who wants what from whom? What happens if they don't get it? Why now?”

“Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.”