“MODERN SAUDI HISTORY IN FIVE EASY LESSONSIf you did not go hungry in the reign of King Abdul Aziz, you would never go hungry.If you did not have fun in the reign of King Saud, you would never have fun.If you did not go to prison in the reign of King Faisal, you would never go to prison.If you did not make money in the reign of King Khaled, you would never make money.If you did not go bankrupt in the reign of King Fahd . . .”

“If you see a poor man come into your majlis, try to speak to him before you speak to the other people,” the king told his son. “Never make a decision on the spot. Say you will give your decision later. Never sign a paper sending someone to prison unless you are 100 percent convinced. And once you’ve signed, don’t change your mind. Be solid. You will find that people try to test you.” Fahd was delivering his basic course in local leadership—Saudi Governance 101.“If you don’t know anything about a subject, be quiet until you do. Recruit some older people who can give you advice. And if a citizen comes with a case against the government, take the citizen’s side to start with and give the officials a hard time the government will have no shortage of people to speak for them.”

“But where, says some, is the King of America? I'll tell you. Friend, he reigns above, and doth not make havoc of mankind like the Royal Brute of Britain.”

“In my story you're the villain. But in my heart, you're still the reigning King.”

“YOU WILL REIGN IN TERROR WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! To do otherwise would make a laughing stock of us both.”

“You know," said Jack, "I was a King for a while in Hindoostan, and my subjects would get worked up into a lather about a potato, which to them was worth as much as a treasure-chest. At first I'd want to know everything about the potato in question, and I would take a large stake in the matter, but towards the end of my reign—"Here Jack rolled his eyes, as Frenchmen frequently did during encounters with Englishmen. Leroy seemed to take his meaning very clearly. "It is the same with every King.”

“Yet he who reigns within himself, and rulesPassions, desires, and fears, is more a king.”