“Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.”

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

“Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! ”

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

“More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.”

“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”

“Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.”