“Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected”

“Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.”

“I take my children everywhere. Unfortunately, they find a way home.”

“Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.”

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

“Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. ”

“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.”