“My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend. ”

“Each night I lie awake and stare up at the stars and think, what the hell happened to my ceiling.”

“Jiminy," says the old woman. The mothballs gleam with excitement and she claps her hands. "A wolf!" "Gram!" Siobhan glares across the room. She turns to me. "You'll have to excuse her. She's real old. Wasn't a lot integrating between the species back in her day."I pad over and put out a paw. "Pleased to meet you, madam."She blushes, the varicose veins in her cheeks swelling with blood. Instead of taking my paw to shake, however, she turns it over as if it's a piece of bruised fruit in a market. "Hmmm..." She pores over my palm, nodding like a fortune-teller. Her spectacles slide comically down the bridge of her nose, and when she looks up at me, her face is full of mock astonishment. "Oh, my! What big teeth you have!" She giggles and kicks her slippered feet."Gram!!The old elf claps her tiny hands. "I always wanted to say that!”

“The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window. ”

“So it goes as I work my way down the page, and each cluster of marks is a word, and each word is a sound in my head, and each time I write another word, I hear the sound of my own voice, even though my lips are silent.”

“It amazes me how people are often more willing to act based on little or no data than to use data that is a challenge to assemble.”

“There was nothing to see, nothing to distract me from succumbing to my fears, and the longer I kept my eyes shut, the more terribly I saw my fears wanted me to see.”