“This is not the way things are done in Boy’s Own Adventure books. I recall no mentions of homosexual gang-rape and cannibalism”

“Science,' said Mr Anders Anders. 'Science, not magic. I told you before: when things are not as they appear to be, it's because they're actually simpler than you think them to be. Things are never as difficult and complicated as folk believe. You'd be surprised just how straightforward and obvious things really are. The secret is in knowing how to look at them the right way.”

“As real as,' said Eddie.'As real as what?' said Jack.'Wish I knew,' said Eddie. 'But I can't do corroborative nouns. None of us are perfect, are we? I can get started. As big as, as obscene as, as foul as. But I can't get any further. But that's life for you again. As unfair as...”

“Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride?”

“Jack, get a grip of yourself.'I have a grip of myself.' Jack took a grip of himself. It was a most intimate grip; not the kind of grip that you usually take of yourself in public.”

“It was joy, joy, happy joy.Happy, happy joy.A big fat smiley sun rose above the rooftops and beamed down its blessings onto the borough known as Brentford.”

“There were large and small ones too. And some quite in-between. But all of equal nastiness.And smelliness and ghastliness.For they would eat a fellow up, as one might fish and chips”