“Hey, it’s-!”“Who? Oh. Oh.”“Shut up.”“I haven’t said anything yet!”“Don’t.”“How can I shut up if I haven’t said anything?”“I know you. You’ve got a monologue coming up.”

“Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything.""I can't do both," I pointed out.”

“I told him that my cat was on fire and he didn’t even hear me! On fire, Victoria! And he didn’t care!”“Aud, that is so fucking twisted that I don’t even know where to start.”“Okay, I know, but it had to be drastic.”“That’s not drastic, that’s sadistic. You’ve got your –tics mixed up.”“Will you please focus on the issue at hand? Evan doesn’t listen to what I’m saying!”“And this is news?”“Should I break up with him?”“Do you want to break up with him?”“I don’t know. Distract me from feeling miserable.”“Umm… ummm… I got new shoes.”“Woo.”“Wanna come over and try them on?”“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Hello. Audrey’s phone. She’s currently suiting up for a soul-deadening hourly job that provides no benefits, how may I help you?”

“What about James?”“James? James, the guy I work with? James who takes ice cream scooping more seriously than anyone should? James who almost had a nervous breakdown when the chocolate and rainbow sprinkles accidentally got mixed together? That James?”“He has a good work ethic. And he’s cute.”“Hello, I’m not thirty. I don’t want a good work ethic yet. I just want someone who can form complete sentences.”

“WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!? OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THE ARTICLE? I AM FREAKING OUT, WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!? Please call me, I’m starting to act like Tizzy around here. It’s getting ugly. Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cuttler, in case you get this first. Everything’s fine, I’m just trying to get ahold of Audrey. Okay, bye. AUDREY, CALL ME BEFORE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SKYWRITING”

“You have to turn it up so that your chest shakes and the drums get in between your ribs like a heartbeat and the bass goes up your spine and fizzles your brain and all you can do is dance or spin in a circle or just scream along because you know that however this music makes you feel, it’s exactly right.”