“I told him that my cat was on fire and he didn’t even hear me! On fire, Victoria! And he didn’t care!”“Aud, that is so fucking twisted that I don’t even know where to start.”“Okay, I know, but it had to be drastic.”“That’s not drastic, that’s sadistic. You’ve got your –tics mixed up.”“Will you please focus on the issue at hand? Evan doesn’t listen to what I’m saying!”“And this is news?”“Should I break up with him?”“Do you want to break up with him?”“I don’t know. Distract me from feeling miserable.”“Umm… ummm… I got new shoes.”“Woo.”“Wanna come over and try them on?”“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Hey, it’s-!”“Who? Oh. Oh.”“Shut up.”“I haven’t said anything yet!”“Don’t.”“How can I shut up if I haven’t said anything?”“I know you. You’ve got a monologue coming up.”

“If you really want to know something about me, you should know this: I like my music loud.”

“What about James?”“James? James, the guy I work with? James who takes ice cream scooping more seriously than anyone should? James who almost had a nervous breakdown when the chocolate and rainbow sprinkles accidentally got mixed together? That James?”“He has a good work ethic. And he’s cute.”“Hello, I’m not thirty. I don’t want a good work ethic yet. I just want someone who can form complete sentences.”

“WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!? OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THE ARTICLE? I AM FREAKING OUT, WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!? Please call me, I’m starting to act like Tizzy around here. It’s getting ugly. Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cuttler, in case you get this first. Everything’s fine, I’m just trying to get ahold of Audrey. Okay, bye. AUDREY, CALL ME BEFORE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SKYWRITING”

“So do I kill myself now, or do I wait and do it in front of Evan so he feels really, really, really bad?”

“Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything.""I can't do both," I pointed out.”