“Fred: "Is that brick wall your boyfriend?"Doug: "Only in my dreams."Fred: "Oh, you too? I'm Fred."Doug: "Doug. I should mention, in all fairness though that Christy's boyfriend is my best friend. He's the brick wall you should be worried about.”

“My brother is a very bad policeman. So . . . you’re coming to school, right?” Doug“Nnnnnnno.” Zoey“Come so you can be around people,” Doug coaxed. “I don’t think you should be alone today.”“I think I definitely should.” Zoey “Come so I won’t worry about you.” Doug ;]”

“Fred, you next," the plump woman said. "I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?" "Sorry, George, dear." "Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy and off he went.”

“Kill me, Doug. Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery.”“Christ, Kincaid, what did you say to him?” murmured Doug.“Well,” I told Doug, “I ripped on his fans and on how long it takes for his books to come out.”Doug stared at me, his expectations exceeded.“Then I said—not knowing who he was—that I’d be Seth Mortensen’s love slave in exchange for advanced copies of his books.”

“Detecting a note of inordinate concern for the young woman, Fred quizzed, "Could it be that our pretty little rabbit has caught the hunter's heart?"Rider felt distinctly uncomfortable under Fred's all-too-knowing eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. This is a job, not a honeymoon!""Why,you're in love with her, aren't you?""Hell,no! What gave you that half-cocked idea?""You objected too fast." Fred smiled."How could I love a woman like her? For God's sake, Fred, she acts more like a man than a woman. It's just that..." Rider rubbed at the back of his neck. "Damn, the woman walks around naked under that shirt of hers, jiggling and bouncing. Naturally, I'm attracted. You would be, too! But believe me, Fred, lust is all I feel for her.""You got it bad, my friend." Fred chuckled. "When we get done talking here, I suggest you take Annie over there"-he jerked his head toward a brunette-"upstairs for a good romp in the sack.""Maybe I should.I've tried to avoid Willow but just thinking about her gets me randy."Even as he mouthed the words, Rider knew he would not do as Fred suggested. There was only one woman who could cure his ache and, unfortunately for him, no other would do.”

“It means, Doug Swieteck, that in this class, you are not your brother.”