“Когато бях отвлечен като дете моите похитители изпратиха писмо на родителите ми "Платете 5000 долара или ви го връщаме”

“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”

“When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back”

“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.”

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”