“A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.”

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”

“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

“I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.”

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”