“In thinking about 'depressing movies,' many people don't realize that all bad movies are depressing, and no good movies are.”

“It’s a depressing habit you have of loving to sneeze and of eating apples as if they were juicier for you and being the first one to exclaim how good the movie is. You depress people. We like apples too.”

“We all want to feel good about ourselves. Movies, good and bad, can help with that.”

“A movie is better than real life because in the movies only the bad guys die. Or you can pick the good movies where the bad guys die and only those. If you get tricked and a good person dies in the movie then you can rewrite it in your head so the good person lives and the part about death is superfluous.”

“of one hundred movies there's one that is fair, one that's good and ninety eight that are very bad. most movies start badly and steadily get worse”

“people see so many movies that when they finally see one not so bad as the others, they think it's great. an Academy Award means that you don't stink quite as much as your cousin.”