“I have tried to teach you the wonders of the spiritual world......I have tried to show how we mortals can attain such wisdom......and I've decided you're a pillock.[click on the thumbnail, art by Andrew Christine]”

“I had a few good professors in my painting and drawing classes, but all my graphic design classes tried to teach us how to use Photoshop and Illistrator by showing the class demonstration video clips. You know, exactly like the kind you can watch for free on Youtube, except these video clips cost me thousands of dollars to watch. I felt like I paid a lot of money to learn martial arts, only to show up to find the instructor is fat, sluggish, and cowardly, and he tries to overcome that by trying to teach us how to fight by showing us Chuck Norris movies. (Fact: Chuck Norris could teach me how to fight without even bothering to show up to class).”

“If I don't have wisdom, I can teach you only ignorance.”

“Amanda and I both paused to take in that bit of wisdom. And try to decide if it even was wisdom.”

“Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.”

“Tm not a teach. I'm a teacher. And I have a name. How would you like it if I called you "Hey, pupe!"?"I'd like it fine.""Why?""It shows you're with it.”