“13084Tonight I came back to the hotel alone; the other has decided to return later on. The anxieties are already here, like the poison already prepared (jealousy, abandonment, restlessness); they merely wait for a little time to pass in order to be able to declare themselves with some propriety. I pick up a book and take a sleeping pill, "calmly." The silence of this huge hotel is echoing, indifferent, idiotic (faint murmur of draining bathtubs); the furniture and the lamps are stupid; nothing friendly that might warm ("I'm cold, let's go back to Paris). Anxiety mounts; I observe its progress, like Socrates chatting (as I am reading) and feeling the cold of the hemlock rising in his body; I hear it identify itself moving up, like an inexorable figure, against the background of the things that are here.”
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Quote Analysis
In this quote by Roland Barthes, the speaker describes their experience of being alone in a hotel room while feeling a sense of impending anxieties. The speaker uses vivid imagery and metaphorical language to convey a sense of unease and isolation. The mention of jealousy, abandonment, and restlessness waiting to declare themselves "with some propriety" highlights the speaker's inner turmoil. The description of the hotel's atmosphere as indifferent and idiotic adds to the feeling of alienation. The comparison of the speaker's anxiety to Socrates feeling the effects of hemlock further emphasizes the overwhelming nature of these emotions. Overall, the quote captures a sense of existential dread and loneliness that the speaker is grappling with in their solitary setting.
Modern Relevance
In this passage from Roland Barthes, we see the familiar feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and restlessness that many people experience in modern times. The struggle with inner turmoil and the desire for distraction through books and sleeping pills are all too relatable in today's fast-paced and often overwhelming world. Barthes' depiction of the indifferent and unfeeling hotel environment reflects the isolating nature of modern society, where technology and distractions can sometimes serve to exacerbate feelings of loneliness and alienation.
Example of Usage:
In his diary entry, Roland Barthes vividly expresses the mounting anxiety he feels while alone in a hotel room. The sense of impending doom and feelings of jealousy and abandonment come alive through his words. The palpable tension and isolation he experiences are strikingly depicted in his reflections.
Reflection Questions:
As you reflect on the passage by Roland Barthes, consider the following questions:
- How do you relate to the feeling of anxieties creeping in when you are alone or facing uncertainty?
- Have you ever tried to distract yourself from your anxieties with activities like reading or taking sleeping pills? How effective do you find these coping mechanisms?
- In what ways do you perceive the environment around you, like a hotel room, when you are consumed by feelings of jealousy, abandonment, or restlessness?
- How do you handle moments of increased anxiety or discomfort? Do you observe them like Barthes observes the progression of his anxiety, or do you tend to react impulsively?
- Reflect on a time when you felt like the surroundings or objects around you were echoing indifference or exacerbating your feelings of anxiety. How did you navigate this situation?
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