“Head clear. Mouth shut. See much. Say little.”

“There are, I have discovered, ten commandments for mother-in-law. These rules are not mine. They come from mothers-in-law of every color, race, class, and disposition. Given the diversity of the women, the uniformity of opinion on this compels attention -- also discussion. Here are the ten most recommended rules:1. Keep your mouth shut.2. Keep your mouth shut.3. Keep your mouth shut.4. Keep your mouth shut.5. Keep your mouth shut.6. Keep your mouth shut.7. Keep your mouth shut.8. Keep your mouth shut.9. Keep your mouth shut.10. Keep your mouth shut.”

“Once," he says, "I was flying to California on the Fourth of July."She turns her head, just slightly."It was a clear night, and you could see all the little fireworks displays along the way, these tiny flares going off below, one town after another.”

“See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.”

“I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying. Is it better than keeping my mouth shut? That goes without saying. Call, break it off call, break my own heart.”

“Sometimes my mouth is a little too big and a little too open and sounds too much like a sailor.”