“We try to be formed and held and kept by him, but instead he offers us freedom. And now when I try to know his will, his kindness floods me, his great love overwhelms me, and I hear him whisper, Surprise me.”

“I will always love you, Kellan. Your heart is safe with me.”Kellan pulled me into a hug and let out a long, shaky breath as he held me. “Promise?” he whispered?I squeezed him just a little bit tighter. “I promise.” Pulling back, I rested my forehead against his. “Not loving you isn’t possible. Trust me, I tried.”

“Sometimes when we were hiding behind the breakers with the crowd, he'd hold me so tight, I'd think he's not just holding me, he's holding onto me, like I'm stopping him from falling off. I'd see him looking at me and his eyes were so full of...I dunno. Like he was about to cry. And, it's stupid, I know, but I think maybe he's hurting because he loves me and I don't love him, and this great lump used to come up into my throat and I'd hold him tight and try and squeeze him as tight as I could and try as hard as I could to fall in love with him the way he loved me.And then other times I'd think, it's just the way his face is that makes him look like that.”

“He's kissing me, quick desperate kisses, like I'm something he needs to live; and I'm kissing him back, crazy with the ache I feel for him, trying to kiss him better, trying to fix him. I'm touching his face, feeling the roughness of his beard, the wet of his tears, feeling the tremors passing through his body, hearing his ragged breathing. And each kiss is a failure. A failed attempt to escape from all that's happening. And I only know this when he slows, drawing it out, letting me taste regret, letting things linger. He pulls away, and I'm saying "Don't, don't, don't", trying to bring him back, kissing his face. But I've lost him.”

“He was beside me then, his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly."I'm not crazy," I whispered."I know."Believe it or not, that's the most romantic thing Zachary Goode ever told me.And I kind of loved him for it.”

“He caught me to him, his arms banded tight around me. His face pressed into my throat. "Where do we go from here?"I held him. "Wherever this takes us. Together.”