“Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it.”

“Milk = fat. Butter = fat. Cheese = fat. People who think these products can be low fat or fat free = fucking morons.”

“Now that you're a Skinny Bitch, don't turn into a skinny bitch. We conceived of the title, Skinny Bitch, to get attention and sell books.... But we are not bitches, and we have no desire to promote bitchiness. There is nothing uglier than a pretty woman who's nasty. If you look great, you should feel good about yourself and be happy.”

“And when all feels hopeless, remember that you are in charge of what goes into your body, you don't answer to anyone, and you are allowed to eat anything you want. Often just knowing we can eat whatever we want is enough to keep us from eating whatever we want. We're so rebellious.”

“Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are perserving your fat cells with diet soda”

“You should not need anything to wake up. If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob. It may seem like the end of the world to give up your daily dose, especially if your rely on Starbucks as a good place to meet men. But it's not heroin, girls, and you'll learn to live without it.”

“So your junk food has a shelf life of twenty-two years and will probably outlive your fat, sorry ass.”