“If only he didn't believe he was Shamu's distant cousin. It was such a shame for someone so sublime to be certifiable.”

“He was frigging Dionysus! The man who invented the three-way! He’d had sex every possible way known to man. He’d made improvements to the Kama Sutra. And he was suffering from a major case of wet noodle.”

“To live an eternity in hell without one’s love. He supposed that could be perceived as somewhat vexing.”

“It was his vocation to pleasure as many women as possible, in pursuit of his own pleasure. It was as close to a job as he got.”

“Um. I’m really good at first aid. Like, the best.” He was the god of healing, after all. He’d better be good at fucking first aid!”

“Sweetie,” Dino said, coming over to put his arm around her shoulder. He tipped her head up and looked into her eyes with great empathy. “You can’t fuck a statue. At least not at that angle. You’d at least have to tip it onto its back first, and as a conservator, I can’t recommend it.”

“She opened one eye. “The goddess Artemis is going to talk to the supreme god Zeus … about me?” “Yup.” She closed her eyes again. “I’m so not okay.”