“Lord, she really hoped that was his penis and that Greek gods didn’t pad their briefs.”

“Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’s penis would be larger than your penis.”

“The objectivity of the narrator is a modern invention, we need only reflect that our Lord God didn’t want it in his book.”

“Just look at the fellow, standing there like a bloody Greek god. Do you think she chose him because of his intellect?”

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”........"Fuck all of you,” John retorted. “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”

“Mommy, why is Jaxon in bed with you? Oh my God, did you see his penis mommy? Grandma, mommy saw Jaxon’s penis!”