“You ought to sue.""I don't know how to sew. I tried it once and I almost put my eye out."If there is one thing Sahara Soto and Kerry Thompson have in common, it's their complete idiocy. In the girl's case, it's endearing.”

“I think you have a case of either 'testitis' or 'I Didn't Do My Homework Syndrome'. It's common in the Spring.”

“I never realized how exhausting it was to turn women away. It was one thing to hook up with them and then call it a day, but to be off the market completely was something I'd never dealt with before. To put it simply, girls don't like being rejected, especially if it's because of another girl.”

“You have a funny way of showing how much you don't like me.""I don't like gophers, either, but I wouldn't leave one to suffer. I'd shoot it to put it out of its misery.”

“When you get right down to it, every collection of letters is a magic spell, even it it's a moronic proclamation ... Words have their impact, girl. Mind your manners. I may not know how to fly but I know how to read, and that's almost the same thing.”

“It's a lot easier to understand things once you name them. It's the unknown that mostly freaks me out. I don't know the name of that fear, but I know I've got it, the fear of the unknown.”