“Faith isn't absence of doubt. It's belief without proof, not without question.”

“Oh My God," I blurted, grabbing onto Phin as we faced the open bedroom door. "It's the axe murderer.""I doubt he would knock," she said, but she was whispering, too, and didn't move away from me.”

“Is Lisa going to the prom?"I shelved my worries for the moment. "I don't know, Mom. We don't talk about the You-Know-What. We made a pact.""You could go together, if you didn't want to mess with dates and things.""I don't want to mess with the prom at all, Mom."She ignored me, placidly eating popcorn, piece by piece. "Some girls in my high school class did that and had a wonderful time. They weren't lesbians or anything. Not that it would matter if they were.""That's nice, Mom. I'm glad you're so open-minded." I grabbed my Coke and the popcorn bowl and headed for the stairs, because I could go my whole life without ever hearing my mother talk about lesbians again."Maybe you could take Justin to the prom," she called after me, laughter in her voice. "He is such a hottie."Shoot me now.”

“From what I could tell, whenever an archangel or a burning bush turns up, it's generally not to say, 'Hey, go out and have a happy and uncomplicated life.”

“You have a funny way of showing how much you don't like me.""I don't like gophers, either, but I wouldn't leave one to suffer. I'd shoot it to put it out of its misery.”

“i should take my dog for a walk now. i can only handle one bitch at a time”

“You're not hurt, are you?""Only my delicate sensibilities.”