“The worst of all of this is the lie that condoms really protect against AIDS. The condom failure rate can be as high as 20 percent. Would you get on a plane — or put your children on a plane — if one of five passengers would be killed on the flight? Well, the statistic holds for condoms, folks.”
“Then he would get into a plane and leave the field wide open; the field was crammed with paralegals, all of them stoutly armed with condoms.”
“A condom prevents life. A gun takes life. Would a condom over the barrel of a gun prevent one life from taking another?”
“No matter what those sex-ed teachers say about how great condoms are, there's not a condom in the world to protect you from heartbreak.”
“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.”
“I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That’s why I’m wearing a condom.) ”