“Voters inclined to loathe and fear elite Ivy League schools rarely make fine distinctions between Yale and Harvard. All they know is that both are full of rich, fancy, stuck-up and possibly dangerous intellectuals who never sit down to supper in their undershirt no matter how hot the weather gets.”

“New York is the only city in the world where you can get run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.”

“Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories -- those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost”

“Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.”

“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”

“The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.”

“An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. ”