“My dad's philosophy was (and I think still is) that life is a malevolent force, which seeks to destroy you, and you have to struggle with it. Only those who are hard enough will succeed. Most people get crushed, but if you fight, in the end life will go, "Fucking hell. This one's serious. Let him through.”

“I struggle in these situations not to let my madness govern me, and to let the positive aspects of my character define my life.”

“Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.”

“What I've learnt - to my cost - on several occasions in my life, is that people will put up with all manner of bad behaviour so long as you're giving them what they want. They'll laugh and get into it and enjoy the anecdotes and the craziness and the mayhem as long as you're going your job well, but the minute you're not, you're fucked. They'll wipe their hands of you without a second glance.”

“I regret that I didn’t realize that actually they’ve got no power over you at school — it’s all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.”

“If you have no brothers and sisters it defines you for life; even when you're thirty you refer to yourself as an only child.”

“My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.”