“I am what I am, and I don't apologize for being honest.”

“The words that come out of your imagination are your own - just be sure they are.”

“No-one knows your mind better than you do.”

“The website didn't say how much brains--or even how many--I should eat, only that I should eat them in 48 hours OR ELSE. Why doesn't anyone pay attention to details anymore? Would it be so hard to add a simple line like, BTW, Maddy, 3 pounds of brains per week is plenty?Seriously, am I the first new zombie ever to ask?”

“Stamp: "Fine Maddy, Whatever. Take your little punk loser to the dance. I don't need you, Maddy. I can ask two dozen, three dozen chicks right now to go with me." Maddy: "Well then," I guess you better start stocking up on corsages.”

“I look at her and ask, flat out, "What's up?" Girl talk, of course, for, Back off my man, biotch.”

“What is this?" I ask, trying to sound brave and flip, and I'm sure, merely coming off as too loud and annoying. "Strip grocery shopping? If it is, I have to tell you I've got on 16 pairs of underwear, so you're going to lose big-time--”