“The truth, my friend, is an awesome thing, to be handled with wisdom and with courage denied to ordinary people. Most of us must make do with illusions. Or else -- or else we could not endure.”

“It's always like a miracle. No matter how bad everything was on ordinary days, no matter how poor they seemed, on Yontev -- like on Shabbos -- they suddenly seemed rich.”

“If you could jerk off to something else, like a hamburger, could you imagine the delight in being alive?”

“Dear 2600: OK I have some real serious stuff to tell but I need to be reassured that I can trust your company that you don’t do this sorta thing just so you can turn people in then I will tell my very serious and true story for you but I must be reassured first please reply. ANONYMOUS How can we lie to you? We published 2600 for 16 years just so you would finally walk into our little trap. Welcome.”

“It's a strange kind of irony. The things that affect us most are the things we can't remember" (from Swimming Upstream).”

“One thing we can know for sure is that when we are confessing our sin to God but not to the people around us in ordinary, nitty-gritty life, there is not much real spiritual transformation going on”

“if it's not the RIGHT thing to do it's something else!”