“Next an Intimacy Consultant named Anita arrived. When Anita walked in she looked very studious. However, when she started to set up I would have never guessed that she did this for a living. First came all types of lingerie; see through, lacy, racy, edible, and even costumes."Okay," Phoebe cleared her throat. "The idea here is to purchase things for our dear Lilli to wear or use on her honeymoon." Phoebe giggled and I scowled at her."Don’t waste your money," I spat quickly, earning a laugh from Maggie and Viola."Oh, honey, if Aidan is anything like his uncle then you will definitely want to get yourself some.""Mom," Maggie yelled and covered her ears. We all burst into laughter."I’m just saying," Viola shrugged. "Your father is quite—""Seriously? Seriously, mom? No…Ew, ew, ew!" Maggie screamed as she left the room. "God, please let my car get here soon!”

“A woman with super long platinum blonde hair, a fake tan, injected bubble gum pink lips, and a large boob job came in. Phoebe showed her where to set up in front of us and we all sat patiently."Hello, I’m Tandy" I almost rolled my eyes at her name, given her appearance. She placed a case on the coffee table in front of us, opened it, and pulled out rubber penises. I almost shot my drink out of my nose, again. "I will be instructing you on proper blow job technique.""Oh my God, Phoebe." I shouted at her."Yeah," Viola clapped her hands and reached out to be the first to get a rubber practice penis.”

“One stood behind me and ran her hands down my chest, her breasts rubbing against my back. The next stood in front of me holding onto my shirt and pulling me close to her as she ground into me seductively. The third danced slowly and seductively with the second girl, giving the girl-on-girl effect. I knew I was going to burst at any moment, so I had to close my eyes and take repeated deep breaths to calm down."What’s the matter Aid-man, you feeling a little frustrated?" Dixon boasted from under his lap dancer."Shut up Dixon." Though I didn’t really want him to shut up, his teasing was distracting me pretty well. "I’m going to kill you for this.""Oh no little man!" He laughed loudly. "Thank your future wife! That one is on her!" he howled.”

“Baby, you keep doing that and we are going to need Giana to get her ass in here to take care of baby girl." He palmed my ass."Giana is already here." She knocked on the counter behind us."Thank you, Jesus!" Though, Chris pronounced it Hey-Seuss.Bending, he lifted me onto his shoulder and took long strides to the staircase.”

“If you didn't already know, we're expecting in about four and a half months." Elliott beamed. The guests raised glasses with congratulations in the air."He slipped one past a goalie!" Ryan cheered.The beer I just sipped came out through my nose. Mia was choking on her water. Serena turned from Ryan to Elliott, smacking him on the chest. Mortification painted her red face."Did you teach him that?"Elliott shrugged with a mischievous grin.”

“I love the name Maggie, he went on, and she glanced up at him suspiciously-nobody loved the name Maggie-but his face was serious. It makes your teeth feel good to say it. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. It feels like eating peanuts. Try it, and he paused, waiting for her to recite her name aloud.She turned away, but she did try it anyway, to herself, and she felt a surprising tingle around her upper molars.”

“Why did I even think that girl would help? So…I need her. Why?! Why her? What is it that makes her so different, so calming, so…So, Goddamn MINE! - Christopher Mason”