“Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.”
“They might be kittens," she said hopefully."They're stalking us.""They might be shy.""I don't think it's kittens, Valkyrie.""Puppies, then?”
“He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.”
“Relax. This isn't the scary part yet.""Mmm, not helpful.""Try to think about puppies," he suggested. "No wait, not puppies. Think about kittens. Demons don't eat kittens. Too many hairballs.""Hey, maybe we could try not talking for a while.”
“For every puppy or kitten your pet gives birth to, one dies in the shelter for lack of a home... Spay/Neuter.”
“Hi! My name is Bambi! I like kittens and puppies and throwing flaming balls of death at my enemies!”