“Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about.”

“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.”

“When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day”

“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”

“Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.”

“When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.”

“Hard work spotlights the CHARACTER of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.”