“All of a sudden the world opened upand it's doing it again now.In this garden there are so many stories,so many other problems besides mine.”

“I am so close to the edge that I could vomit, so close that it would be easy to jump.”

“It's weird to hear this again - to hear how I was perceivedby people before they got to know me.Some of the girls thought I was a bitch - aloof, distant - but now they see the truth.”

“I want things so bad that I force them, push them until they tear.”

“I visit him a few times downtownwhile he paints.We talk about how he's going to Spainfor the fall semesterand he shows me a painting he didand points to this one part,a bridge, and tells me he thought of mewhen he painted it.It is so sadhow knowing somethingso smallcan make me so happy.”

“I have only a general sense of the pain, of not being able to control my body and my thoughts. All I ever wanted was to have control- to be in charge of myself and the rest of the world.”

“Most days it feels like I am watching a moviewhere the sound isn't in sync, the speed is all wrong.Either I'm moving too quicklyand the world is dripping along,or the world is moving too quickly, cosmic,and I'm oozing like a slugbarely able to pull my own weight.It's best if I keep movingbecause if I stopped and stood stillpeople would see me shaking.”