“I might never stop fearing tomorrow, Braden," I admitted calmly. "The future and what it can take from me, scares me. And sometimes I freak out, and sometimes my freak-outs hurt the people closest to me.""I understand that. I can deal with it. You have to trust me.”

“She smiled apologetically. "You're a good person, which makes the fact you don't trust anyone, really hard for the people who care about you. And Braden, when he cares about someone, has to know everything so he can cover all the bases and protect them. He has to be a guy people can trust. It's just who he is. If he started something with you, he'd only be hurt when you refuse to let him in."I only sort of took that in. Mostly, I just kept hearing 'you're a good person, which makes the fact that you don't trust anyone, really hard for the people who care about you.""Am I hurting you, Ellie?" I didn't want to admit how scared I was for her answer.She exhaled, heavily, seeming to weigh her words. "At first I was. But knowing that you don't mean to hurt me helps. Do I wish you'd trust me more? Yes. Am I going to push it? No." She stood up. "Just know that if you ever do decide to trust me, I'm here. And you can tell me anything.”

“Sometimes the clouds weren't weightless. Sometimes their bellies got dark and full. It was life. It happened. It didn't mean it wasn't scary, or that I wasn't still afraid, but now I knew that as long as I was standing under it with Braden beside me when those clouds broke, I'd be alright. We'd get rained on together. Knowing Braden he'd have a big ass umbrela to shelter us from the worst of it. That there was an uncertain future I could handle.”

“I turned to face him, knowing in him, I'd find the temporary cure. "Do you want to fuck it out?" Braden smiled slowly, bemused, causing another twist of attraction in my gut. "Fuck it out?""All the bullshit. What she did. What he did. Every soulless bitch that wanted something from you"His expression changed immediately, becoming hard, unfathomable, as he took a step towards me. "Are you saying you don't want anything from me?""I want this. I want our arrangement. I want you..." I sucked in a breath, feeling my control slip. "... to fuck it out of me.”

“Go home, Adam," I replied softly. "We're done."His eyes widened in shock. "Ellie-""I'll pretend for Braden. When we're all together, I'll pretend for Braden that nothing has changed between you and me."I held his gaze, attempting to be strong as I ended us."But whatever this is, it's over. Everything. Don't call me, don't visit... just don't. I don't want you near me when you don't have to be. It hurts too much, and if you care about me even just a little bit, you'll stay away from me.”

“You're like a brother to me. I would never do anything to hurt you. And I know I haven't been what a brother would consider good material for his wee sister, but I love Ellie, Braden. I have for a long time now, and I can't not be with her. I've wasted too much time as it is.”

“Are you saying you don’t want anything from me?”“I want this. I want our arrangement. I want you…” I sucked in a breath, feeling my control slip. “…to fuck it out of me.”“Fuck what out, Jocelyn?”Couldn’t he see it? Was my mask really that good? I shrugged. “All the nothing”