“I was going to up until that last entry. Reading it all just reminded me how much we felt, how much we feel, and how much a part of us it is. It doesn’t belong to anyone else and I guess I don’t want it to.It’s ours. Our history. Our story. And in a way our future too. As much as I love her, you’re right. I can’t give that to Joss. I can’t give these to her. ”

“She gave me a lopsided quirk of a smile. "Joss," her voice hoarse, barely audible.I wanted to run. I know. That's horrible. But I wanted to run away from this part. People ending up in hospital had never concluded well in my life, and seeing her there, so vulnerable, so exhausted, just reminded me of how close we might have come to losing her.I felt a hand squeeze mine and I turned my head to see Hannah watching me. She looked as pale as I felt, and her fingers were trembling between mine. She was scared too. I smiled reassuringly at her, hoping I was pulling it off. "Ellie is okay. Come on." I tugged on her hand and pulled her with me to Ellie's bed side. I reached out for the hand Ellie had held out for her mom, and I slid mine into it, feeling relief and love as she gave me a gentle squeeze.”

“Of how I belong to you?” Her voice went up an octave. “Yeah.” “Well, forget about the verbal arm wrestling! Why don’t you just pee on me and everything I own?!”

“I know you love me, Jocelyn, because there’s no fucking way I can be this much in love with you, and not have you feel the same way. It’s not possible.”

“Are you saying you don’t want anything from me?”“I want this. I want our arrangement. I want you…” I sucked in a breath, feeling my control slip. “…to fuck it out of me.”“Fuck what out, Jocelyn?”Couldn’t he see it? Was my mask really that good? I shrugged. “All the nothing”

“In public, you’re Joss Butler. Cool, self-possessed. In bed, you’re Jocelyn Butler—you’re hot, babe. Uncontrolled. Needy. Sweet,” he breathed. “I like that I know that. I don’t like the fact that other men do too.”

“You're like a brother to me. I would never do anything to hurt you. And I know I haven't been what a brother would consider good material for his wee sister, but I love Ellie, Braden. I have for a long time now, and I can't not be with her. I've wasted too much time as it is.”