“Of how I belong to you?” Her voice went up an octave. “Yeah.” “Well, forget about the verbal arm wrestling! Why don’t you just pee on me and everything I own?!”

“I was going to up until that last entry. Reading it all just reminded me how much we felt, how much we feel, and how much a part of us it is. It doesn’t belong to anyone else and I guess I don’t want it to.It’s ours. Our history. Our story. And in a way our future too. As much as I love her, you’re right. I can’t give that to Joss. I can’t give these to her. ”

“You want to hit the gym with me?" Ellie wrinkled her button nose. "Gym? Me?" I eyed her skinny self. "You mean you're naturally that gorgeous?" She laughed, flushing a little. "I have good genes." "Yeah, well I have to work-out to fit into mine.”

“She smiled apologetically. "You're a good person, which makes the fact you don't trust anyone, really hard for the people who care about you. And Braden, when he cares about someone, has to know everything so he can cover all the bases and protect them. He has to be a guy people can trust. It's just who he is. If he started something with you, he'd only be hurt when you refuse to let him in."I only sort of took that in. Mostly, I just kept hearing 'you're a good person, which makes the fact that you don't trust anyone, really hard for the people who care about you.""Am I hurting you, Ellie?" I didn't want to admit how scared I was for her answer.She exhaled, heavily, seeming to weigh her words. "At first I was. But knowing that you don't mean to hurt me helps. Do I wish you'd trust me more? Yes. Am I going to push it? No." She stood up. "Just know that if you ever do decide to trust me, I'm here. And you can tell me anything.”

“Do you want to tell me why I'm getting the silent treatment?' He asked gruffly, his breath hot on my ear. I hunched up my shoulders, pulling away. His voice had an effect on my body and I didn't want him to know that. 'I'm talking to you.''Barely.''I've got a lot on my mind.''Do you want to talk about it?''When have I ever wanted to talk about it?”

“She gave me a lopsided quirk of a smile. "Joss," her voice hoarse, barely audible.I wanted to run. I know. That's horrible. But I wanted to run away from this part. People ending up in hospital had never concluded well in my life, and seeing her there, so vulnerable, so exhausted, just reminded me of how close we might have come to losing her.I felt a hand squeeze mine and I turned my head to see Hannah watching me. She looked as pale as I felt, and her fingers were trembling between mine. She was scared too. I smiled reassuringly at her, hoping I was pulling it off. "Ellie is okay. Come on." I tugged on her hand and pulled her with me to Ellie's bed side. I reached out for the hand Ellie had held out for her mom, and I slid mine into it, feeling relief and love as she gave me a gentle squeeze.”

“When I didn't say anything, he came closer, dropping slowly to his haunches so we were at eye level. My eyes searched his gorgeous face and for once, I wished I could break my own damn rules. I had a feeling Braden would be able to make me forget everything for a while.We gazed at one another for what seemed like forever, not saying a word. I was expecting a lot of questions since it must have been clear to everyone, or at least the adults at the table, that I had had a panic attack. Surely, they were all wondering why, and I really didn't want to go back out there."Better?" Braden finally asked softly.Wait. Was that it? No probing questions?"Yeah." No, not really.He must have read my reaction to his question in my face because he cocked his head to the side, his gaze thoughtful. "You don't need to tell me."I cracked a humorless smile. "I'll just let you think I'm bat-shit crazy."Braden smiled back at me. "I already know that.”