“Milkers don’t spend half as long with their mothers." Eli spread his chore coat over Little Joe. "Not more than a few weeks. Sometimes one day. Maybe not even ... If you were a peeper, it’d be even worse. They don’t even get to see their mamas. They’re still jelly beans when they’re left alone to hatch.”

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings.”

“Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena)Why don’t you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don’t think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace)Oh, I don’t know. They’re probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)”

“But people in a small town tend to do a lot of talking, even when they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“I don’t trust compliments. I’ve been getting them for years. Sometimes I deserve them, sometimes I didn’t. But generally when people give you compliments there’s one of two things wrong with them. Either they’re false, or what’s worse is they’re sincere. They really mean the compliment. And then they’re offering you their loyalty. And I’m kind of a stingy… Well, I don’t necessarily want to give all that loyalty back. So either way, let’s skip the compliments.”

“Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.”