“I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It's been there a while, biding its time and growing closer with each revolution. I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry in the morning.”

Sara Gruen

Sara Gruen - “I realize the blackness of sleep is...” 1

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“I cling to my anger with every ounce of humanity left in my ruined body, but it's no use. It slips away, like a wave from shore. I am pondering this sad fact when I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It's been there awhile, biding its time and growing closer with each revolution. I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry again in the morning. Then I let myself drift, because there's really no fighting it.”

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“THERE IT IS,’ my mother says, and what she means is that the dot we’ve been nearing for weeks, the one that’s been growing into a larger dot with two smaller dots circling it, has now become even larger than that, growing from a dot to a disc, shining back the light from its sun, until you can see the blue of its oceans, the green of its forests, the white of its polar caps, a circle of colour against the black beyond.”

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“There it is again, right in my head, I AM THE CIRCLE AND THE CIRCLE IS ME -But this time it's different -There's a lightness -A breath-stealing feeling -A weightlessness to it that makes my stomach rise -"I give you a gift," he says, his voice floating thru my head like a cloud on fire. "The same gift I've given to my captains. Use it. Use it to defeat me. I dare you."I look into his eyes, into the blackness of them, the blackness that swallows me whole -I AM THE CIRCLE AND THE CIRCLE IS ME.And that's all I can hear in the whole world.”

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“I wake up exhausted it's not morning. It's back to sleep to re-dream me. We're alone and we're happy. But there you are, angry with me”

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“I was never big on rage.' 'Why?' "It's so much more angry in my head than it could ever be outside.”

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