“And then there's the perverse joy of subtly working in references to marathon training in daily life, say at the post office or while waiting outside my first-graders' classrooms at the end of the school day.”

“A typical race morning usually starts out looking like a scene from a zombie movie: individuals or pairs of people walking down a deserted street, all headed in the same direction.... Inevitably, regardless of the weather, U2's "Beautiful Day" streams out of loudspeakers.”

“Of course I would fall for Captain Emotionally Constipated. I could train a rock to hold more affection for me.”

“WHAT? Maybe you didn't hear exactly how big my plans are? Big enough to be PRESIDENT president!" I'll say.But that's my job!" he'll say.Look, are you a naysayer?" I'll say.Do you say 'NAY'? I say." Uh . . . no?" he'll say.Then it's settled," I'll say. You're third in charge, reporting directly to the mynah bird!”

“Charientism (n.) A rhetorical term to describe saying a disagreeable thing in an agreeable way. If I knew how to say disagreeable things in an agreeable fashion I most likely would not be spending most of my time siting alone in a room, reading the dictionary.”

“Darkness is the absence of light. Happiness is the absence of pain. Anger is the absence of joy. Jealousy is the absence of confidence. Love is the absence of doubt. Hate is the absence of peace. Fear is the absence of faith. Life is the absence of death.”

“Hunter, you can’t seriously be the Goblin King. You’re not even sixteen yet! I had to give you a ride to the store after school in September when we were getting supplies for Homecoming decorations!”