“And all that pink. It's like a giant vagina in there”

“I once typed 'vagina dentata' into dictionary.com and it asked me, 'Did you mean giant anteater?”

“What is a flower? A giant sexual organ in its Sunday best. The truth has been known for a long time, yet, over-aged adolescents that we are, we persist in speaking sentimental drives about the delicacy of flowers. We construct idiotic phrases like "So-and-so is in the flower of his youth", which is as absurd as saying "in the vagina of his youth".”

“And in the fountain squatted a giant crab. I’m not talking ‘giant’ like $7.99 all-you-can-eat Alaskan king crab. I’m talking ‘giant’ like bigger than the fountain.”

“I was worried about my own vagina. It needed a context of other vaginas-- a community, a culture of vaginas. There's so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them-- like the Bermunda Triangle.”

“It's so weird man, it's like the vagina is an elevator door that opens up into this dimension, and sometimes that elevator puts you out on to a bad fucking floor!”