“Really? Screaming?”He shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad. But there were definitely some freak-outs on both sides. Though, to be honest, the silence was worse.”“Worse than screaming?” I said.“Much,” he said, nodding. “I mean, at least with an argument, you know what’s happening. Or have some idea. Silence is… it could be anything. It’s just –”“So freaking loud,” I finished for him.He pointed at me. “Exactly.”

“See for me, it’s immediate. Silence is so freaking loud.' This seemed either deep or deeply oxymoronic. I wasn’t sure which.”

“That's when it happens. The moment of death is full of heat and sound and pain bigger than anything, a funnel of burning heat splitting me in two, something searing and scorching and tearing, and if screaming were a feeling it would be this.Then nothing. I know some of you are thinking maybe I deserved it. Maybe I shouldn't have sent that rose to Juliet or dumped my drink on her at the party. Maybe I shouldn't have copied off of Lauren Lornet's quiz. Maybe I shouldn't have said those things to Kent. There are probably some of you who think I deserved it because I was going to let Rob go all the way--because I wasn't going to save myself.But before you start pointing fingers, is what I did really so bad? So bad I deserved to die? So bad I deserved to die like THAT?Is what I did really so much worse than what anybody else does?Is it really so much worse than what YOU do?Think about it.”

“Silence is so freaking loud”

“This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you," he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that this time he was right. Worse than the boil was the stuff that came out of it. What got to me, and got to him even worse, was the stench, which was unbearable, and unlike anything I had come across before. It was, I thought, what evil must smell like—not an evil person but the wicked ideas that have made him that way. How could a person continue to live with something so rotten inside? And so much of it!”

“That wasn't so bad," I said. It wasn't bad at all, really. The nerve-racking buildup had been the worse part.The Chancellor was sweating like a pig, but this was nothing new. I smiled gratefully at Tove. It had been nice having him at my side. Backup and support were never a bad thing."Those little hobgoblins freak me out." Duncan shuddered at the thought of Ludlow. "I don't know how they can live with them.""I'm sure they think the same thing about you," Finn muttered.”