“When my dad died, it was like everything felt really shaky, you know? And trying to be the best I could be, it gave me something to focus on. If I could just do everything right, then I was safe.'I couldn't believe I was saying this, not ere, at a party packed with classates and strangers. In fact, I couldn't imagine saying it anywhere, really, except in my own head where it somehow made sense. 'That sucks, though,' Wes said finally, his voice low. 'You're jsut setting yourself up to fail, because you'll never get everything perfect.' 'Says who?'He just looked at me. 'The world,' he said, gsturing all around us, as if the party, the deck encompassed it all. 'The universe. There's just no way.”

“That sucks, though," Wes said finally, his voice low. "You're just setting yourself up to fail, because you'llnever get everything perfect.""Says who?"He just looked at me. "The world," he said, gesturing all around us, as if this party, this deck encompassed itall. "The universe. There's just no way. And why would you want everything to be perfect, anyway?""I don't want everything to be perfect," I said. Just me, I thought. Somehow. "I just want—”

“I just -- I know my own heart and I love you, Turner. And if you have even the tiniest shred of decency, you'll say something because I've said everything I possibly can, and I can't bear the silence, and -- oh for heaven's sake! Will you at least blink?"He couldn't even manage that.”

“I say, " I can't believe you're really here."He sounds almost shy when he says, "Me neither." And then he hesitates. "Are you still coming with me?"I cant believe he even has to ask. I would go anywhere. "Yes," I tell him. It feels like nothing else exists outside of that word, this moment. There's just us. Everything that happened this past summer and every summer before it, has all led up to this.To Now”

“Why me?" I hear his answer in my head before he says it."Don't know, honey. But there's a reason for everything." Dad pats my hand. "We'll just have to wait patiently to see what it is."As i do every time he says that or something like this, I bite back what I'd say if I could reply honestly. I don't believe there's a reason for everything, and having faith doesn't mean I'm blind. I believe people make poor choices. I believed bad things happen to good people. I believe there's evil in the world that I will never understand, but will never stop fighting. If I believe for two seconds that there was a reason behind some of the awful things that occur in this life, I wouldn't be able to stand it.”

“It felt like everything was rising up in me, like I was drowning in this weirdly painful joy, but I couldn't say it back. I just looked at him and let him look at me until he nodded, lips pursed and turned away, placing the side of his head against the window.”