“As a child I liked to piss on the carpet.The carpet rotted and I blamed it on the dog.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.”

“The old woman had an old dog, but he hardly counted any more. He was so old that he looked like a stuffed dog. Once I took him for a walk down to the store. It was just like taking a stuffed dog for a walk. I tied him up to a stuffed fire hydrant and he pissed on it, but it was only stuffed piss.”

“She got pissed when I accused her of having Bieber Fever (it pisses me off that I even know what the fuck that means – I blame that on society)”

“I don’t like this, Artemis. I’m not a dog to be chained outside your house because you’re afraid I’ll piss on your rug. (Acheron)”

“Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casiusoh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace”