“But you have friends.You have a lot of friends.What do you offer your friends to make them so supportave.What do you offer your friends to make them so supportavewhat do you offer. "...if I could remember any more of my lines I'd add themso basically this is a preface to the whole play. I would like to quote the whole play. Currently my mind is afraid to remember the play.”

“Friendship is a give and take. You have to have a strong relationship with your friend and I think you have to offer them something and they have to offer you something and that’s to always learn from it.”

“I hate it when people say they’re trying to be your friend. You shouldn’t have to try to be somebody’s friend. Either you like someone or you don’t. Either you want them as a friend or not. Making friends isn’t like trying for the lead in the school play.”

“If I’d known having a gay best friend meant I had to go to clubs with names like Liquid and Bulge and Cockhole, I would’ve had second thoughts about this whole thing.” “Liar. I get you more play than you would ever get on your own. Women just love you for having a gay best friend. It makes them think you’re sensitive. And there’s no bar called Cockhole. I would know if there was.”

“Do you always play this hard to get?""I wish I could afford to play hard to get. You women have wised up a lot in the last decade or so. None of my old lines work anymore.""You mean 'wanna get naked' doesn't have women falling all over you?"Mac peered at her over the top of the menu. "Hey, that's my best one.""I'd hate to hear your worst."Yeah, you would. He set the menu down and leaned in as though about to say something confidential. "I crash and burn a lot."Mac and Rachel.”

“You are already my lover so I cannot offer to make you that. You are already a man so I cannot offer that, either. You are already half of my soul, you are already my religion and my prayer.”