“I cook better than you," Nick corrected absently. "I think monkeys can probably be taught to cook better than you.""I'd like to have a monkey that cooked for me," said Jamie. " I would pay him in bananas. His name would be Alphonse.""I agree, that would be awesome." Mae said. "People would come for dinner just to see the monkey chef.""You're raving," Nick said, defrosting chicken in the microwave. Mae was a bit impressed with how he seemed to look at the appliance and instantly comprehend its mysteries, when she'd been heating up ready-made meals for years by a method of pressing random buttons and hoping. " I know that's the only way Jamie communicates with people, but I expected better of you, Mavis.""We're cutting out the whole Mavis thing right now, Nick," Mae said warningly."How many bananas would be good payment for a monkey?" Jamie wanted to know. " I would want to pay Alphonse a fair wage.”

“Oh," Jamie offered in a bright voice. "I could cook some--""NO!" Mae, Annabel, and Nick all exclaimed as one.Annabel gave Nick a slightly startled look. He was too busy giving Jamie a forbidding look to notice. "Look, I am getting better," Jamie argued."I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when you made that tin of beans explode.""It was faulty," Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. "I am sure of this.”

“Jamie chose that moment to almost fall down the stairs. Mae took his whole weight and grabbed the banister. Seb reached out but Jamie shied away, and Nick gave Jamie a push in the chest that was clearly intended to right him, but that nearly had him toppling over backward.Balance eventually restored to them all, Jamie gave Nick an approving look."You are my friend," he told him."Yeah, I am," said Nick."But these stairs," Jamie said sadly. "They are not my friends.”

“Mae, he made me go out for a run," Jamie called out. "Tell him I don't run!" "Jamie and I are lilies of the field. We toil not, neither do we jog," Mae informed Nick.”

“They carried on sniping in the front seat, and Mae turned back to Jamie."You doing okay?" she murmured."Yes," said Jamie, a bit too earnestly. "I love you, Mae. Your hair is the color of flamingos! And I love Nick as well." He gazed soulfully in Nick's direction. "Sometimes when you are not being psychotic, you are quite funny. And you!" He regarded Seb for a long moment. "No, I still don't like you," he decided. "Maybe I need another drink.""I don't think so," Nick said.”

“It's the closest place to Exeter they could have chosen," Alan said. "We can pick up Mae and Jamie on the way."Nick rolled his eyes. "Thrill me, why don't you.”