“If you weren’t there, how do you know someone pushed her?” Sergeant Kenn asked.“Well …,” said Jared.“And what were you doing, running through a strange town at night?”“I was jogging?” Jared offered.“Without your shirt or your shoes?”“Uh,” said Jared.”

“Honestly, Jared, one thing at a time. Why are you in a well with me? This is a really bad rescue!" [...]"I called the police as I was running to the well. I'm sure they're coming.""Did they say they were coming?" Kami asked suspiciously. "Or did you shout, 'Kami's in the well!' before jumping in the well too, thus loosing your phone and making sure the police think it was some kids playing a dumb joke?"Jared paused. [...] "Alternate plan," Jared said. "Do you have a very intelligent collie who might communicate through a system of barks to your parents that little Kami is in the well?”

“How do you deal with it?" Kami asked Jared. "The laughing at nothing and occasionally stopping dead in your tracks.""I have a system where when I stop, I lean casually against something," Jared told her. "It makes people think I'm a bad boy. Or possibly that I have a bad back.”

“What the hell is going on?" demanded Kami's dad, advancing with his black eyes snapping. Jared blurted, "My intentions are honourable."Kami sat up straight in her bed and stared in Jared's direction. "Are you completely crazy?" she wanted to know. "This isn't the eighteenth century. How do you think that's going to help?""Well, I mean," Jared said, back against the wall like a cornered animal. "When we're older. I mean-""Please shut up," Kami begged."I agree with Kami," said Dad. "When you're in an abyss-like hole, quit digging.”

“Hark,” he said, his tone very dry. “What stone through yonder window breaks?”Kami yelled up at him, “It is the east, and Juliet is a jerk!”Jared abandoned Shakespeare and demanded, “What do you think you’re doing?”“Throwing a pebble,” said Kami defensively. “Uh… and I’ll pay for the window.”Jared vanished and Kami was ready to start shouting again, when he reemerged with the pebble clenched in his fist. “This isn’t a pebble! This is a rock.”“It’s possible that your behaviour has inspired some negative feelings that caused me to pick a slightly overlarge pebble,” Kami admitted.”

“One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. “Baa,” it flirted. “Boo,” said Jared.“Oh my God, Jared. Don’t tough-talk the lambs.”"It was giving me a funny look.”