“Kami said, "I want you to go in there and vamp that receptionist.""What?" Ash said blankly."You know," Kami said. "Dazzle her with your charms. Rock her world. Go on."[...] "What," Ash said, "all of us?""Do you want to stand around trying to guess if she likes pretty boys or rough trade?" Jared asked, gesturing lazily from Ash to himself."Excuse me, what did you just call yourself?" Ash demanded. "No, wait a second, I don't care. What did you just call me?”

“He punched me in the face," Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. "And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer!""I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people," Jared said with beautiful simplicity."Ash looked so surprised," Holly said. "He had no idea what was going on. He said, 'I didn't sleep with our personal trainer! We don't even have a personal trainer!'"Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. "In that case," he told Ash solemnly, "I will consider taking you back.”

“What the hell is going on?" demanded Kami's dad, advancing with his black eyes snapping. Jared blurted, "My intentions are honourable."Kami sat up straight in her bed and stared in Jared's direction. "Are you completely crazy?" she wanted to know. "This isn't the eighteenth century. How do you think that's going to help?""Well, I mean," Jared said, back against the wall like a cornered animal. "When we're older. I mean-""Please shut up," Kami begged."I agree with Kami," said Dad. "When you're in an abyss-like hole, quit digging.”

“Angela spared a glare for Kami, and then resumed her marathon glaring session at Jared. 'It's too weird. I'm going to call you Carl.'Jared scowled. 'I don't want you to call me Carl.''That's interesting, Carl,' said Angela, cheering up.”

“A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?”“Nah”, said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.”“That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?”“I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.”“It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles.”

“They had to swing by Jared’s locker so he could grab his jacket. “A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?”“Nah,” said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.”“That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?”“I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.”“It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles.”

“Boys. Listen up. We are going out for a girls’ night, where there will be dancing.”Kami did an illustrative shimmy. Angela looked resigned.Jared looked amused. “What was that?”“You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching, Jared,” Kami informed him.“Have you considered that perhaps nobody’s watching because they’re too embarrassed for you?”“Fine,” said Kami, grinning at him. “Be a hater of dances. Be a hater of joy. I don’t care. You’re not invited!”