“Bruce Springsteen settled down. He used to run around with lots of women and now all he wants to do is hang out with Patty Scialfa and the kids."Patty's from Jersey. You don't mess around on Jersey girls. They're too tough. I'm sorry Bubbles, but being from Pennsylvania, you're no match.”

“Peppermint Patty's team is short a glove, so I'm walking over to lend them mine.""You're kidding! Don't you think they're taking advantage of you?""No, I'm doing it because I want to do it.""What are you, some kind of mystic?!”

“It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.”

“[Patty's] Copernican wish to the be sun around which all things revolved”

“I'm sorry if I pissed you off.I'm sorry if I acted like a fucker.But I'm not sorry for chasing off that pansy ass that used to have what's mine.Because you're my girl now and I won't have that asshole sniffing around where he doesn't belong.”

“Whenever I stumble over my own feet, or blurt out a thought that makes no sense at all, or leave the house wearing one pattern too many, I always think, It's okay, I'm from New Jersey. I love New Jersey, because it's not just an all-purpose punch line, but probably a handy legal defense, as in, "Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey.”