“I have a policy about that word "soul." It is strictly prohibited except in cases of converstations having to do with okra recipes or Marvin Gaye.”

“But I do have conversations about the Patriarchy and I am having them with gay men. At eighteen, I am discovering what generations of women have long known. The natural ally of the straight woman is the gay man because they are others losers too.”

“Is he following? Can you have a flaming gay moment or something and check?""Why do I have to be the flaming gay one?”

“My recipe for success: Have someone else do it”

“You see, I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking, which is, if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.”

“While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.”