“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“How did people steal before computers? - Dogbert”

“Dogbert to Dilbert"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." "Then what does it do?" "Why would it need to do anything else?”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“If, as you say, our minds are delusiongenerators, then we’re all like blind and deaf sea captainsshouting orders into the universe and hoping it makes a difference.We have no way of knowing what really works andwhat merely seems to work. So doesn’t it make sense to tryall the things that appear to work even if we can’t be sure?”

“The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.”

“Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.”