“Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo”

“Dogbert to Dilbert"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." "Then what does it do?" "Why would it need to do anything else?”

“(about finding evidence of the past)And when you get that confirmation, it would instantlybecome the past itself. So in effect, you would be using thepast, which does not exist, to confirm something else fromthe past. And if you repeat the process a thousand times,with a thousand different pieces of evidence, together theywould still be nothing but impressions of the past supportingother impressions of the past.”

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.”

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”